I DIDN’T FINDTHE TUMBLR BUT I FOUND “PRETTY GIRLS MAKING UGLY FACES” AND I WAS CRYING ON THE BUS I WAS LAUGHING SO AHRD
THE SECOND ONE OMG I M CRRIYIGN
THE THIRD ONE OMG NO SLEEP FOR ME EVER AGAIN.
there are people who think kit kats taste good
yeah they’re called smart people
new sex position called the “%” where you sit in different rooms separated by a wall. never touching
“haha 420 blaze it” i chuckle as i light another vanilla scented incest
vanilla scented incest
omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst person ever
im still laughing about this they were so mad omg
- Woman: What’s that noise? Who is there?
- Dracula: Be calm. You have nothing to fear.
- Woman: Who are you? Why are you here?
- Dracula: I am Dracula. I am your friend.
- Woman: I don’t know you. You are not my friend.
- Dracula: I can be. Do you want to die?
- Woman: No. Are you going to kill me?
- Dracula: No. I’m going to give you eternal life.
- Woman: How?
- Dracula: I am a vampire. I am immortal. One bite from me and you will live forever.
- Woman: You’re a vampire?
- Dracula: Yes.
- Woman: I don’t believe you. Where are your sharp teeth?
- Dracula: Here.
- Woman: Oh yes. I see. How will I live forever?
- Dracula: By drinking blood.
- Woman: But I’m a vegetarian.
- Dracula: Oh dear. That’s a problem.
- Woman: You should go.
- Dracula: Yes. Of course. You’re right.
- Woman: Close the window on your way out. It’s cold in here.
- Dracula: Okay. Sorry to bother you.
- Woman: No problem. Good night.
- Dracula: Good night.